Not sure of the rules, are we discussing this book yet? I've finished and would really like to know what others thought of this book. I found the main character hateful and selfish and am quite appalled with his behaviour! I suppose he is meant as an anti-hero, but has no redemption

 annedorst | Nov 3 2007, 21:30 pm

Hi, last time we did discuss the book before the end of the month, but we didn't give away too much of the plot before then for those people who had not finished yet. I am about halfway through the book. Have to say that I was a bit upset when I realised there were three previous books about the characters - normally I would never read a book out of sequence. However, I do like the authors style of writing very much and there is certainly a lot going on between the different characters. As for Patrick, I have not made up my mind about him yet. I did know somebody in a very similar situation to him, whose mother left her money/property etc to charity and he loathed her for doing it too, so that part is ringing very true for me!

 Humz | Nov 5 2007, 20:57 pm

I wasn't sure how it would be reading a book out of sequence too, Humz. But actually I'm not finding it a problem. I also really like St Aubyn's writing style and am finding the book very readable. It's clever if a bit scary the way St Aubyn chooses to write from a 5 year old's perspective (Robert). I love some of the other periphery characters we meet too (i.e. Margaret, Jilly) - we've all met them and he captures their essence perfectly!

 burntsugar | Nov 7 2007, 11:29 am

Yes, I think his children go to the same school mine do!!! Good job we do not give our real names here... The book does stand alone, I agree. However, annedorst mentioned her dislike of the main character and reading the trilogy about him before may have changed her view. We are obviously meeting Patrick at an extremely difficult time in his life, when he has all sorts of problems with pills and alcohol, not to mention his relationships. His wife appears to be totally aware of his issues (and behaviour) and yet doesn't confront them at all. I haven't finished the book yet, but I would not like to be too judgmental about him at the moment.

 Humz | Nov 7 2007, 14:20 pm

I have also finished the book - I ploughed through it I was enjoying it so much! - planning on re-reading in time for the big discussion. I enjoyed it enough for a second read which is saying something! I'm glad we've started chatting though, I was keen to hear others views on Patrick - I loved him! Obviously his behaviour is sometimes appaling, but it is really refreshing to read a character who is not on a strictly moral or amoral path, he is not ridden with guilt for his bad behaviour but more cerebral, he rationalises everything he does, good or bad. I can definitely identify with that and thought it made him thoroughly human - I would love to have him as a dinner guest! I had no idea there were previous books about the characters but how interesting to be able to go back to a character like Patrick when, as you say humz, he isn't going through the difficult time he is now.

 grouchy | Nov 13 2007, 15:51 pm

I agree that Patrick is a very interesting character and, I have to say, I agree also that he is very likeable! I found that The Patrick Melrose Trilogy was re-printed to coincide with "Mother's Milk". There are three books: Never Mind, Bad News and Some Hope. I liked the characters so much that I have ordered this and will be greatly interested to read it. Patrick's behaviour was obviously appalling, although the fact he acknowledged that made it less so somehow! I am looking forward to receiving the trilogy and getting more insight into the characters. Mary was absolutely my favourite and I really, really identified with her. Not that my husband is like Patrick (fortunately!) but with her love affair with her children, which other people sometimes do not understand. It was beautifully written. I could hardly believe the author was a man!

 Humz | Nov 13 2007, 18:50 pm

I'm still reading and loving it (hey - I'm a slow reader!) - Although I do find myself drifting a wee bit when Patrick goes off on one of his prolonged angsty mental turmoils. Although at least he recognises that he's being completely selfish - even if it doesn't stop him! I've just read the chapter where you learn more about Mary for the first time - it had been bugging me that we didn't know what she was thinking, just that she was so saint-like. (just realised why she's possibly named 'Mary'?) I agree that the way it is written is hard to believe it was written by a man. Mary's maternal anxieties are so well described. I especially related to her thoughts - "Was it an instinct to anticipate disaster, or was every other mother in the world more relaxed than her".
The boys are a bit 'other worldly' - which sometimes stretches my belief capacity (i.e. their thoughts and language abilities!), but having said that, I do like being able to suspend reality when I read a book - so I'm not complaining.

 burntsugar | Nov 19 2007, 22:22 pm

Ive finished the book now and was surprised that it was a sort of happy ending as all the way through the story, alcoholism, infidelity, assisted suicide etc are the main issues. I put the book down with a smile on my face as it leaves you feeling that we are all human and even though life doesnt always pan out perfectly, love and humour get you through (sorry thats a bit cheesy!) I was quite angry with Patrick that he was on a road of self destruction and didnt seem to care about his remarkable family, but my feelings towards him changed as the story developed. Id love to know how his relationship with Mary turns out in the long run when their children grow up and leave home. I agree with Humz about the author being a man as I think that a mothers bond with a child is very different to a fathers, though not necessarily stronger. I was fascinated by the relationship Mary has with her boys, in spite of the unhappy one she has with her own mother. Ive read next months book already so Im going to order the three books in the trilogy to keep me going!

 tempertemper | Nov 20 2007, 12:31 pm

The trilogy is very interesting tempertemper. It really gives you much more of an insight into Patrick - although it does not necessarily make you like him any more! Saying that, one of the delightful things about Patrick is that, all along, he knows he is unreasonable, wrong and unkind. Absolutely agree with burntsugar about the boys being far more articulate then their age, but I suppose they could not say what the author wanted with the vocabulary you would expect. You could be right about why she is called Mary, but I found her totally likeable and you feel that the boys need her. I couldn't help wondering whether Patrick felt he would have been different if he had had a different mother. Having a difficult relationship with my own mother I know how Mary feels about not replicating that and I really sympathised with her.

 Humz | Nov 20 2007, 16:15 pm

Patrick's redeeming feature is that there is humour there. You can almost read his mind when he is thinking about his mother and the trip to America was very funny in parts. Even when he is contemplating how to hide the whisky he has drunk, its sadly funny and their visits to his relatives were so well written, you wish you were there to sit back and watch their reactions to him. Im sure everyone who reads this book will analyse their own relationships with their children and/or parents which is quite a testimony to the author to provoke such a reaction. Ive read many books before based on family relationships which have often left me bored, so Im glad to have read something that has given me food for thought. I rarely read a book twice, but this is one of the few that I will go back to one day.

 tempertemper | Nov 20 2007, 17:59 pm